


showering alone

by bookishpanda



Series: Sanders Sides Shorts [18]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Anxiety, Mentions of Sex, mentions of depression, mentions of former polyship of Virgil/Remus/Janus, mentions of self harm, shower
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:41:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28251060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookishpanda/pseuds/bookishpanda
Summary: Virgil misses his ex-boyfriends, but luckily, his roommate Logan is around to take care of him during the rough moments.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides Shorts [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067366
Kudos: 22





	showering alone

Virgil didn’t know how long he had been standing under the running water, the heat penetrating through his clammy skin. He needed something to touch him, he needed to feel something other than the longing and sadness that had seeped into his very soul.

He couldn’t admit that he missed them. Virgil was too proud, too anxious, too… _him_ to even consider reaching out to his ex-boyfriends right now. They were off, doing amazing things, studying hours and hours away from him, and he was stuck in their hometown, in the apartment that now felt too big, too much, even though Logan had decided to rent out one of the bedrooms. 

It didn’t always help, having someone like Logan around. He was always on the couch with his nose in a book or typing away on his laptop, or he would go off to work or to his night classes, and Virgil would be alone again. Being alone was dangerous for Virgil. When Janus and Remus left for school, they knew it, they offered to stay, but he knew that they wanted to go off and study so badly; he couldn’t get in their way. And so he let them go in more ways than one.

Finally, there was a knock at the bathroom door, startling Virgil out of his thoughts. “Virge? You’ve been showering for approximately an hour, is everything alright?” Logan’s voice rang through the door and into his ears, but Virgil didn’t think he had the strength to respond. The tears had stopped a while ago, and his fresh cuts were no longer bleeding, but they stung with the water cascading along his thighs. “If you don’t answer me in the next ten seconds, I’m coming in.”

He couldn’t speak, and when he tried to tell Logan to go away, a soft groan was all that came out. And then the door was opening, and Virgil just stood there as Logan slid the shower curtain open, turned off the water, and wrapped a towel around Virgil’s shaking body. He didn’t know why he was shaking, but he nearly collapsed into Logan’s arms, the tears returning.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m gonna sit you down on the toilet seat so I can tend to your cuts. Is that okay?” Logan’s voice was steady, calm. Virgil just nodded weakly as he felt himself get settled onto the toilet seat, and he leaned his head against the mirror, eyes closed tightly. He heard the medicine cabinet open and close, and then there were soft hands on his thighs, and a cotton ball with stinging liquid. He hissed at the feeling, and one of the hands reached up to caress his face, and then there were bandages being attached to his legs. Logan’s voice was back, and another towel was being pressed against him, trying to dry him off. “You want to talk about it, V? Or should I just put on a space documentary and make you some tea?”

“I miss them,” Virgil’s voice was weak, and when he opened his eyes, he saw Logan kneeling in front of him, one hand on Virgil’s cheek and the other on his hip, stabilizing him. “I know it was for the best, L. But… I don’t know how I can go on.” Logan pursed his lips in thought, eyes focused on Virgil’s, and he nodded. “I’m cold, I need to get dressed.”

Logan stood up first, then held his arms out for Virgil to stand and balance himself on. They walked to Virgil’s bedroom slowly, and once they got there, he sat on the bed while Logan rummaged through his dresser for boxers, a shirt, and pajama bottoms. 

“You don’t need to dress me,” Virgil mumbled, trying to stand on his own, but the towel he was wearing dropped and he caught a wave of dizziness; Logan’s arms were around him instantly, settling him back down.

“I don’t mind,” Logan said softly, helping Virgil step into the boxers and pajama bottoms, then he pulled the shirt over Virgil’s head. “Now stand so I can pull your boxers and pajama bottoms up,” he instructed, his arms still held out for Virgil to grab onto. He stood up shakily and Logan pulled the bottoms up the rest of the way. “Couch or bed for cuddles and movies?”

“Couch,” Virgil said, breathing deeply. He pressed his face into Logan’s shoulder, and felt Logan wrap his arms around his waist gently. “I’m sorry, L. You shouldn’t have to deal with me. I’m a mess.” Logan didn’t respond at first, but he hummed quietly, drawing circles on Virgil’s back with his hand in a soothing way. 

“That may be true, but I like cleaning up your messes,” he said earnestly. Virgil laughed a little at the way he worded things, but smiled anyways, pulling away from Logan, who was looking at him with deep adoration in his eyes. Virgil moved quickly; he wrapped his arms around Logan’s neck, pulling him close, and then closed the gap between them, their lips meeting awkwardly and roughly. Logan kissed him back with equal fervor. 

Virgil pulled back, almost falling over, but Logan’s grip on him tightened. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Logan, I shouldn’t have done that, I’m in no place to be kissing you or anything and-”

“V, it’s fine. I understand why you did it,” Logan kept his voice and face emotionless, and Virgil was unsure if he felt similarly or just kissed back because he knew that Virgil needed something other than words and soft touches. He didn’t care, because he glanced back up at Logan, eyes lingering over his lips. “If you need to, I’m here.” Virgil nodded, then leaned forward again, their lips melding together, needy hands landing in damp hair and tugging, bodies pressed together.

They’d figure it out later. They’d have to talk it all out later. Maybe they’d be awkward and distant, maybe they’d continue down this path (and maybe it was a path that they had been heading towards all along). All that Virgil knew as he was laid back and kissed by Logan well into the dead of the night was that he was there, and that was something he desperately needed to know.


End file.
